Genuinely Jenai Advice Column: Friendship Edition

Better Together// Building relationships is so important during every phase of life, but especially high school. However, relationships are complex, so discussing and answering those questions is such a valuable way to navigate such an important era of our lives. (Photo by Jenai Atherall)

“Should I keep the same friends I had in middle school?”

Dear reader, 

Thank you for your question. While it would be easy to give a simple yes or no answer, the reality is a little more complicated than that. Friendship at its core should be a mutual relationship, meaning each person should be growing and maturing. If your middle school friends are adding to your life, and you are adding to theirs, there is no reason to break off a blooming friendship. However, if it is toxic, and perhaps one of you is maturing while the other is not, it is possible that some of your middle school friendships will be ones you outgrow.

Some people, like myself, have kept the same friends I had in middle school and have thrived from having those really close relationships, but there are many others who simply need to branch out as they move on to this next phase of their life, and that is perfectly okay as well. If you find that holding onto those relationships is allowing you both to grow and add joy to each other’s lives, absolutely hold on tight to those. However, along with this, please recognize the importance of exploring other friendships along with the ones you keep.

Sometimes the comfortable thing is to hold onto what is familiar, but if you only stay in your comfort zone, you will struggle to grow. In high school, there are so many unique people that you could be friends with. By staying in your circle of friends from middle school, you will never realize how much more joy you could experience by meeting and building relationships with new people. 

So, reader, the answer is that the question of whether or not you should keep your friends from middle school applies to you. If you find yourself in a rough patch in your relationship, don’t throw it down the drain; continue to work on it. However, if you find it is just not working, do not force the relationship if it is not meant to be. Don’t be scared to find new friends, because a lifelong one could be right around the corner. On the flip side, if you find yourself in a great place with your middle school friends, continue to nurture those relationships; just remember that if it is not working, do not be afraid to let go and befriend other people along the way.