Genuinely Jenai Advice Column: Friendship Column

Better Together// Building relationships is so important during every phase of life, but especially high school. However, relationships are complex, so discussing and answering those questions is such a valuable way to navigate such an important era of our lives. (Photo by Jenai Atherall)

“How do you build real relationships in clubs instead of just being a member who attends?”

Hi reader, thank you for your question. First off, it is amazing that you are already thinking about joining clubs with the intention to meet new people. Putting yourself out there is always a great first step. To your question, I’d say one of the first things you should do is ask yourself: Why am I joining this club/extracurricular? If you are simply joining a club because you see a lot of other people joining it, or because you are just trying to check a box, that might be a great way to network and build opportunities, but not necessarily to build real relationships.

One of the most common mistakes many people, especially teenagers, make is that they join things and do things to fit a mold or fit in with a group of people they want to accept them. However, the right people and the right group of friends will accept you for who you are. So, by joining activities that you genuinely love, like creative writing, math tutoring, or something else entirely, and just walking into those clubs being yourself instead of trying to fit into a specific clique or group, you will find that the right people will love being around you, and likewise.

However, all of this starts with honesty and sincerity. Whatever club you decide to join, be sure that you first genuinely love it and have a passion for what you do in that club. Once you are in, rather than just becoming an attending member, genuinely try to socialize and sign up for activities the club is doing. It is understandably easy to be shy, but sometimes socializing and building relationships with others in the club by simply being yourself and being kind creates a great first impression. 

From there, volunteering, participating in group activities or events they want to do, and consistently showing up for meetings opens up so many doors to so many different relationships. Out of the many amazing people you will meet, you will be sure to build genuine relationships all whilst being exposed to things you love and a plethora of opportunities.